Community Christian Church

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Someone To Look Up To

Mentors Take Kids from Single-Parent Homes Under Their Wing

Published April 14, 2006 - The Naperville Sun

By: Kathy Milen, Staff Writer

Sometimes all it takes is one person to change a child's life for the better.  For Uni Muniz, that person was a teacher. Growing up in a single-parent family in Oswego during the 1970s, she was frequently the object of ridicule, hate and even violence from her peers because of her Hispanic heritage. Her homelife was difficult, as well. Coming from an abusive and dysfunctional family, she never received the emotional support, comfort and encouragement she so craved. When her parents divorced, she became a self-described troubled kid. But there was one person in her life who seemed to care about her, who treated her with respect, who believed in her. Linda Gates, a gym teacher at Long Beach Elementary School in Oswego, made her feel accepted. It was Gates who looked out for her. It was Gates who told her she could be anything she wanted to be. It was Gates who encouraged her interest in sports, which helped make her one of the top athletes at her school.

"She said that I had potential that I wasn't even aware of," Muniz said. "Basically, she told me to get out of my own way. Shetold me to be who I was and not what I have become." Now, 25 years later, Muniz, of Aurora, has taken that vote of confidence and is passing it on to other young people. Last fall, she established 10:17 Youth Mentoring, a Christian-based program designed to bring a positive role model into the lives of children from single-parent homes. She launched the program with a party. Linda Gates was the guest of honor.

Muniz began the ministry through Community Christian Church in Naperville, where she has been a member for five years. Similar to the Big Brothers Big Sisters program but with a Christian emphasis, 10:17 Youth Mentoring is based on programs from two national organizations — the Christian Association of Youth Mentoring and the Christian Mentoring Institute. It takes its name from Psalm 10: 17-18 — "You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted, you encourage them, and you listen to theircry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more."

The program is open to any child, ages 8 to 15, growing up in a single-family home. Both mentors and children may be affiliated with any Christian church. Twenty-eight children are enrolled in the program, and 19 more, 14 of them boys, are awaiting mentors. "We don't want to keep this to ourselves," said Teresa Donner, the program administrator. "We want other people to think about doing this as well. ... There are not enough mentors out there. Kids have a lot of peers but not nearly enough mentors to help them through the difficult years." Like the other five team members helping to run this program, Donnor, of Aurora, is a single parent of a 14-year-old son, Brandon, who is awaiting a mentor. She, too, is a product of a single-family home. Having been raised by her father, she said she appreciates the importance of having an adult role model of the same gender.

According to U.S. census figures, there are 12 million single-parent families in the United States. Ten million of those are headed up by single mothers. About 20 million children under the age of 18 live with one parent. Muniz used to pray that her three children would never be among those statistics, but her husband died nine years ago. Through the program, Muniz's 14-year-old son, Alex, and 15-year-old daughter, Monique, have been paired with mentors for several months. The relationships have been beneficial to both children, especially her daughter, who, Muniz said, changedfrom an embittered young girl to a loving, attentive person who participates in church mission trips. "She's just not the same anymore," said Muniz, who is hoping to find a mentor for her oldest child, Isaac, who has special needs.  Prospective mentors must have references and are subject to a criminal background check. If accepted into the program, they must undergo four hours of training.

At first, Connie Shipman was a little nervous about being a mentor. She admitted having had little experience relating to teenagers. Most of the volunteer work she had done until then had been with very young children. "But I decided to give it a try and have not been disappointed," she said. Since last summer she has been mentoring 14-year-old Lateesha Woods of Naperville. They get together once or twice a month as friends. Shipman said she is not looking to be a mother figure to the girl. They cook dinner, go out to eat, watch movies, sit and talk. More than she expected, Shipman said that she has gotten as much satisfaction out of the relationship as has Lateesha.  "It's given me more of a comfort around teenagers," said Shipman, of Oswego. "Especially the 13- to 16-year-old stage,where they still have the baby cheeks but they're growing into adults. ... I found it was OK to be absolutely myself with her. My overall personality is usually kind of serious, and I just thought I'd be absolutely boring to a teenager. But no, no, no. I've been able to completely be myself."

Nicholas Hyland, 10, of Lisle has found the same satisfaction in his relationship with his mentor, Brian Rieman of Oswego. They get together every Tuesday to go to the movies, play with Rieman's dog, grab a sandwich at Arby's, watch TV or simply hang out. Nicholas said his life has been better since being matched up with Rieman last summer.  "A lot of good stuff happens," he said. His mother, Tina Simmons-Hyland, sees it too. She said the program has been good for her son. His relationship with Rieman is close, and whenever Nicholas is troubled by something she knows that his mentor can put him at ease. He just seems a little bit happier," she said. "He really looks forward to Tuesdays." Muniz said that, through this program, she hopes to let all children know they have talents and abilities and that there are opportunities available for them to create a fulfilling life. Ther is hope for every child, she said. "I don't want anybody to ever go through what I did, and this program will do that," she said. "That is so important to me. (This program) will change their lives forever. 

Mentors needed

The 10:17 Youth Mentoring program needs adult mentors. No experience is required; training will be provided. Sponsors are also needed. Call (630) 388-5191 or e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .