Community Christian Church

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How can we confront denial in ourselves?

Thursday, June 05, 2008

From coping.org - We can confront denial by:

• Asking ourselves honestly why we are in denial.
• Asking ourselves what are the benefits to be gained by our denial.
• Asking ourselves what is too painful to face.
• Recognizing when we are caught up in magical or fantasy thinking about our problem or loss.
• Recognizing the negative consequences that result from our denial behavior.
• Not allowing ourselves to fall back into a safe emotional zone, but to keep our emotional response open and honest.
• Recognizing when we are hiding behind a  “nice” mask when discussing our loss or problems.
• Allowing ourselves to express negative or embarrassing emotions as we confront our problems (e.g., crying, feeling lost, feeling confused, or feeling scared).
• Allowing ourselves to admit to being out of control.
• Trusting others to help us with our problem.
• Admitting our vulnerability and our need for assistance.
• Risking the loss of acceptance or approval by those who may be unable to handle our open, honest admission of our problem.
• Recognizing the negative behavior scripts that impede our ability to deal openly with problems.
• Recognizing that it is human to have problems and to experience loss; it is not a sign of our lack of value or worth.
• Refuting the irrational beliefs that block our acceptance of the loss or problems.
• Asking others to not allow us to deny or avoid the truth about our loss or problems.
• Maintaining our sense of perspective, allowing ourselves to go through the problems as a growth experience.
• Believing that out of failure comes success; accepting the failure as a chance for personal growth.
• Accepting the help of others.